Standard Operating Procedure: Chapter II

The first thing I can recall is the dirt
face down, the grit in my teeth, caked around my nose and mouth
I still cant open my eyes or maybe I can
tied, in the dark, I didnt even realize I was making noise until they came and got me
The brightness of the new day burned my retinas
"where is he...where is he"
I look around the camp nervously as they drag me through the dirt
I black out
new surroundings, cold tile floor, acrid smell.
this must be where the torture happens.
I search my mind and look down upon myself, stripped.
I only know my name. I know my rank. I know my country.
repeating the words over and over in my mind until I hear footsteps
lots of footsteps
the creak of a door behind me, it shuts but does not lock.
three men crowd the room smelling of musk and shite.
I realize I am on a table, an embalming table, not good.
"kde su"
I open my eyes, memorize faces, and watch.
"KDE SU KDE SU KDE SU"
"when I find my brother, you will find them."
A small man whispers translations into anothers ear,
"keď som nájsť môjho brata, nájdete je"
Suddenly theres a gun against my temple its still hot, and it burns
I watch as they take out a disgusting pair of pliers, and begin the mutilation.
death before dishonor
my thumbs are first I can feel the ridges of the pliers pinch my skin and nail, as they force it up then pull it out from my skin.
index, middle, ring, pinky. one by one.
i try not to look at my hands, reserve my strength, I hate the sound nails make when they drop to the floor, I also hear something metallic be knocked off by the fat man.
now I can feel a blade the tip just in the nape of my neck.
it was like rendering chicken skin, tilting my head sideways and pulling it up hard and cutting slowly and sharply, the serrated edge making what I imagine cheese grater ears I now possessed, the blood pooled in and around my ears, made my face hot, surprisingly I could still hear everything.
Three men stare at me, and I stare into them. They ask questions I do not understand.

Its unfortunate I killed their general. All I can think about is Chris. Im not dead, or a stump, so they need me for something...but what?
Three men exit, I hear the door open, I hear the door close, and it does not lock.
I hear footsteps fade away, and I look at the ground and smile at my upper lobes, fingernails, and blood. Not a good look for them.
I roll off the table, onto my feet, my hands and legs are still bound, I lose my balance instantly and hit the floor with a smack.
I wriggle across the floor, turn over on my back and grasp it in my hands, lighter.
I burn my palms about three times attempting to get what I figure is a flame behind my back because its burning my skin, is blood flammable?
i drop the lighter and pull my arms apart, nothing. I try again, I burn my back with the cord, this time it shakes loose. I turn my wrists and struggle until I get them free, then start on my legs. Success.
I listen, nothing. I stand up wipe the blood and dirt off of my face, spit, and wait.
The three men come back into the room one at a time
I stood behind the door waiting for this moment. 1 down heavy door to the face. 2 strangulation against the back wall, the fat man watches, as the door slams shut, and does not lock. He was already reaching for his pistol when I disarm him with an elbow to the mouth, I have him on the ground, knee on his chest, gun in his mouth.
"where.the.fuck.is he?"
"Americký trash"
One shot, 5 left. one of his teeth ricochetes into my forehead, where it remained.
I carefully open the door, kicking the bodies aside..and walk slowly down the corridor. He is here. he is alive.

Liquidation: Chapter I

a shot rang out in the night
the crowd shifted directions and flies past us as we walk towards the blast, the moon shining on our faces, the city lights, the wind against , as well as the people rushing against.
amongst the rubble and the bodies theres nothing, we creep behind buildings
searching out the regime , the gun is cold and numb in my arms, the weight becoming limbs and flesh of my own
you move ahead, the wind is getting stronger, as well as the noise from the tanks, theres not much distance between here and safe point, time seems to stand still
suddenly this place is ominous, I can hear the click of the gun behind us, synchronized we turn around and shoot straight into the noise

we stop when we hear the slight plop of a body falling face first into the pavement
I hold my ground, look towards the skies, backtracking now, we'll never make it back, I radio base while you move ahead and check the body
"shite breeze."
I reload and check the skies one more time, theres never just one guy..never just one.
we stand over the body of a two star general
"woah shite."
"how much time do we have"
" about an hour, where did this guy come from?" I kick his hands away from his gun, even though I know hes dead it still strikes anger in me
"looks like hes a slav, this guy did not come alone we have to get out of here"
"agreed"
we trek across the city, this time moving quickly, quietly...staying close to the shadows
you move ahead and I check the skies, surprise mortars for a surprise general
we both hear the high scream of a mortar and the crash into a building to our right, maybe a street or two away
I look at you, and we both instantly go into a full run, position has been given away
I throw you another ammo pack and we duck into an alley
"where the fuck are we"
" 400.68 E 37.8 N"
"fuck you where are we."
"about 4 miles away"
"we cant risk giving away the base position"
I finish my sentence and put my map back in my bag, two more screams 2 more bombs.
we make our way up the narrow alley, trash and broken concrete everywhere
I can hear the marching, too many feet, too many people for this army of two
I keep my eyes on the sky, double tap one, double tap two double tap three
the alley way ends, I can hear scattering and screaming in slav, you lean out from the wall
I grab your shirt before a stray round nicks your arm
"fuck you"
"hey fuck you"
I get on my knees slide my gun just outside the wall and aim low
and shoot an entire platoon in the ankles
its almost too easy

20 men fall down screaming and we turn the corner and finish them off, I take an AK-47 from the ground
the army is behind us
still in the lead, I keep my eyes on the stars, the sky is so big and black
I cant feel my feet
my heart goes silent
keep moving.

you stop suddenly
I run past you right into an oncoming platoon
from the alley way to the open way sliding behind a building
at least 100 bullets come flying into the wall I lean against
I wait for the noise to stop
I stand straight up
catch my breath
turn to shoot

lights out.
my last image is you being put in handcuffs, I am on the ground, all I can hear is my heart, this is worse than death
before I completely comprehend my pow training in the one second I have my eyes open I get slammed in the back of the head with a large piece of rock
my feet bump up and down on the pavement like cans on the backs of cars, as they drag us away.

If I went on an acid trip

Gary and Bri would pick me up from work and we jumped on the freeway headed towards Payson. We would race on the frwy and find our friend Rick and smoke a bowl at his house. It took an hour of singing and rocking out in the car to get to the camp spot, but we didnt like it. Want to be miles away from everyone.We spend 2 hours driving to Strawberry Reserve. We are driving through herds of cattle,huge wild horses and really shocked looking deer. Bri climbs out of the car and out of her clothes into the 40 degree weather running around naked on the trail in the Utah State Forest. Gary takes off his clothes and runs around the car with her I dont know about ghost riding the whip from the backseat of the car. I can see Bris boho deep red cloth flickering in the cold wind and I hit the pipe again. We drive through flowing fields and huge green pines and pull over. I can hear some wrist slitting emo acoustic mix as I absorb the acid from the piece of paper on my tongue, and felt immedietley electric. Everyone doubles the dose except me. My eyes feel like glowing pumpkinsBri is naked. Bri is driving naked. She doesnt have a license, and had never driven a car, and happens to be tripping on acid. STOP.GO.STOP.GO.STOP.GO. my head keeps hitting the front seat of the car, and I think its funny. Gary is really sensitive right now and everything is irritating him hes acting like an infant , Bri's driving is scaring the hell out of me. Nobody says anything so I do BRI YOU CANT DRIVE. Gary is driving, the whale car is hopping up and down the dirt trail, bouncing, you can hear everything scraping the undercarriage being hit my huge rocks, nobody bats an eye. We make it to the spot about 30 minutes before dawn. We take another dose. Smoke another bowl. This forest looks like an enchanted fairytale. And with golden curly locks , cowboy bots, my sundress and I feel like a glittering princess. The trees are white and everywhere, the green green green grass is everywhere, theres animals and trails, The sky is so big. I have never seen anything so beautiful and I run off the trail because if I was standing still I would have for sure died. I ran out into the wilderness and everything I touched gave me chills. I felt the trees breathe and saw the curve of the earth. I ran to the edge of a cliff and looked straight down not afraid to fall. I ran back to camp and noticed a small fire and a tent set up. I kick saplings over and break the wood off of them, grab a huge handful of wood, and a log, more than i could have ever carried before. I repeated bringing wood back and had a huge bon fire going before I even knew it. I walked back and flames licked my face and legs. The tent was almost on fire and I couldnt even move. I stood with my face melting my eyes burning bright for the fire licking the plastic nylon tent. The colors made my mind race I closed my eyes and I was in another world. The beetles played over in my head. I grabbed my guitar and the string cut into my blistered fingers. it was getting hot. I needed to find my friends. Everyones talking about energy, this has cold energy, this has hot energy. Your energy is making my energy feel cool blah blah blah..I cant eat/sleep/drink/lay down/ sit still...fuck energy. I felt like I could fly, I ran down the trail falling over, scattering deer. I see them leaping through the field and I spring off my feet and leap through the field like a wild woman. I chase the deer, for a long time until I couldnt see them anymore and I am out of breath about to pass out and then I run more. I dont know where anything is but I can hear rushing water and the sound tickles my ears and makes my fingers and body shake. I want to close my eyes and fall back forever. The sky is so beautiful I cant look away, it makes me want to cry thinking God put me here. The wind rushes through all the valleys and brush flows past me and suddenly, my tiny breath, humans existing seems like a ridiculous concept. I feel almost insignificant amongst the huge maple trees. Small things dont seem to matter anymore and I close my eyes and run further away from camp. My watch is the only thing keeping me sane. My eyes cant concentrate and I know I am talking but not about anything in particular. The sun makes my skin feel on fire and I run back to camp, which took an hour, I counted. I have no idea how I found my way back. i eat a handful of m&m's and immedietley feel sick. Gary, Bri and Rick take 2 more hits, I am too strung out to notice they are falling into the rabbit hole deep deep into the rabbit hole. We smoke another bowl and Rick is starting to annoy me. I keep my mouth shut and lay in the sun. My body feels like it will implode. My head is spinning and I am on my feet again climbing up a tree. Im not a good climber, but anything can happen in cowboy boots. I get to the middle of the tree and stare out im 20 feet off the ground. Without breath I close my eyes and fall backwards out of the tree. I hear the CLUMP of my body hit the cold soft ground I cough and it tastes like m&m's. People are rushing towards me I can feel warm blood running down my neck. My blood feels like the finest silks and the warmest of puddings. I lift a cold steel barbell to my face, blood dripping on my lips and I throw it back into the grass, again I run back to camp this time with warm blood dripping down the back of my neck, those people werent real. Rick has tb, and continues to smoke smoke smoke. He cant keep up on the hikes and hacks a lung no joke about every 2 minutes. Bri and Gary are together but Bri and rick are making out in front of me in the tent this is wrong and I dont want to be involved with this. Everyones huddled together for warmth, but I feel like something weird will go down if I stay in this tent. I jump on top of the car and dance under the clouds. My body feels amazing. I feel my fingers and toes boiling and my heart beat feels years apart. I close my eyes and open them again in a completely different part of the forest and crickets and hopping everywhere including into my shoe and they turn into stains as i stomp them from within. The sun is down. Rick is getting on my nerves, he never stops talking. His voice gets higher the more we listen to him. I cover my ears and hope he disappears but he follows me around until I run away. I make another fire, everyones running around naked, load the pipe again. Pass the J, Gary Bri and Rick take another dose and go inside the tent. My eyes have fire in them and laying down right now is the furthest thing from mind. Its impossibly bright outside and the sky is all red. The clouds are flowing around and I can hear the trees creak and I follow the sound of water. Through fields and trees and mud and logs and cliffs and boulders, I am miles away, this time I brought a whistle, with a temp guage and a compass on it. I find the water. A small lion king like watering hole with 4 wild horses. I sit on the waters edge and watch them until they leave. Im sweating the way back, I find deer bones and sage. I join my friends in the tent, but its way too cold and Rick is getting too handsy so I sleep in the car and it feels wonderful. I have no dreams. I felt like I closed my eyes and I open them a moment later with the sun rising and Gary holding what looks like the biggest joint ever or I must be dreaming. Im lit and we light another and take a hike up the mountain. Im jogging along in my dress and run to the very edge of a cliff and barely keep my balance. I wouldnt mind falling. my eyes go black and I am feeling cold sweat dripping down my neck. Sight, Smell, Taste, Touch, and my ears are ringing. My body feels like it has OD'd on sunshine. If I had an acid trip.This confession means nothing.

The Willing

I don't know how many people I have killed, but it was more than you can count on one hand.
My high school was attached to the gym, which was where I had been preserving all of the bodies. 6 so far, I think. It didn't bother me that I had killed these men, or why, I couldnt be found out. Although if the bodies were found, I would be the last person suspected.

The first day, with my first schedule heading down the hallways and up the stairs I find my classroom, slightly empty but the walls were the perfect shade of warm yellow the lights were so dim in there. At home my mom told me she had gotten a job at the maceys or some department store at the mall, I was happy for her, maybe I would get a job too, but money was too easy without a shift clock in right now.
Second day, sitting in the very back of this messy yellow room. I am pretty sure I know all of these people, even though im dreaming.
The building shakes, they say "terrorist attack," and "monster."
I hope this building shaking doesnt disturb those corpses.
Nobody leaves the room, a boy made the door explode with his magic, but that did no help.
Lots of hugs, kisses, crying and screaming, I dont see any cell phones.
When our building goes down, I need to push a button high on the wall.

I can feel gravity leaving my feet and my hands feeling for something to grab onto, I see floating hair of girls being thrown across the room , I see regretfull men, and scared boys. I see a pole, and hold onto it. Were upsidedown, I need to get to that button.
Through the lost door a metal monster speaks to a man on the floor. He goes pale, and quiet and the floor leaves my feet and were all flying down fast for the ground.
Most of us are okay, we run through the sewer, the only thing not destroyed we could hide in.
Met by fellow survivors we sit down, the pale man grabs a roll and quickly dresses it with marmalade. I watch him do this, with his shaky hands and true concern.
I start walking to the mall, I need to find my mom.
All those bodies, have died in this attack.
Thats what they'll all believe anyway.
but the bloodsoaked arms and hands and mind, I might not be able to stay sober to this bloodlust, it is an attack, it is..too easy.

Only I heard what that beast whispered to the pale man, its time to level out the city. Ive never come so prepared.